


The tears I refuse to cry

by peie3



Series: In which a tramatized TommyInnit grieves over his not so brother brother [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Bad Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Character Death, Child Neglect, Childhood Friends, Cults, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insane Wilbur Soot, Obsessive Behavior, Older Sibling Wilbur Soot, Other, Parent Sam | Awesamdude, Protective Wilbur Soot, Running Away, Sad Wilbur Soot, Sick TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Traumatized Tommyinnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur and Tommy aren't actally siblings-, Witch Curses, they just grew on eachother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:20:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29313981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peie3/pseuds/peie3
Summary: 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦, 𝘛𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘣𝘶𝘳, 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨.Tommy Soot had a childhood full of pain and disappointment and the day after he turns 15 he decides that he would never be happy as he runs away from the place he spent his whole lifeBut when Tommy meets a Wilbur, that changes for once in his life he thinks it's gonna be okay.But life was never that kind to Tommy._-------------_I've only written one fanfic and that was a year ago and it was horrible so sorry if this is a little messy, also please read the tags before reading I don't want my work to harm anyone's mental health
Relationships: Sam | Awesamdude & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF) & Original Female Character(s), TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF) & Original Male Character(s), Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Series: In which a tramatized TommyInnit grieves over his not so brother brother [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2153202
Comments: 3
Kudos: 182





	The tears I refuse to cry

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [seventeen-and-a-half](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29245524) by [ElizaLane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizaLane/pseuds/ElizaLane). 



> 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦, 𝘛𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘣𝘶𝘳, 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵  
> 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨.
> 
> Tommy Soot had a childhood full of pain and disappointment and the day after he turns 15 he decides that he would never be happy as he runs away from the place he spent his whole life
> 
> But when Tommy meets a Wilbur, that changes for once in his life he thinks it's gonna be okay.
> 
> But life was never that kind to Tommy

_Thomas, or as he prefers Tommy Soot never had the privilege of a good childhood._

_  
Being raised by blood thirsty psychopaths in the middle of the desert that is what would be  
expected._

_  
So the day Tommy turned 15 he said well screw that and ran away, not long after receiving the curse_ that _would eventually take his two of the three lives that he processed, feeding of of his emotions until he became a bloodthirsty animal that fed off_ of power _._

_But that is not important right now._

_  
What's important is trying to find food, water, and if he’s lucky shelter so he doesn’t die of  
hypothermia, ya know basic human needs no big deal._

_  
Damn, Tommy thought to himself as a cool breeze hit his skin making him shiver. How do forest people survive this weather?_

_  
As Tommy continued to walk, tall structures came into view, well maybe not as tall as the temple but they were good enough he did want to hurt the buildings feelings though, now that would just be rude._

_  
Now you see, Tommy did not realize he was entering an area where he was not allowed to be, but as he heard a deep voice growl well let's say he may have made a mistake._

_  
“I asked you a question child” the mystery voice repeated themselves, “Who the f*ck are you?”_

_  
Tommy studied the person in fround of him, a stupid yellow sweater, and red beanie stuffed his hair into place. “Why should I tell you bi*ch?”_

_  
The man slowly exhaled through his nose, pinching the bridge of it, “Will you at least tell be how old you are, I don't want to leave a deficienceless child in the middle of these parts”_

_  
“Hey!” Tommy yelled, offended “ I could curse you if I wanted!”_

_  
The man looked at him, a mixture of shock and annoyance “Look, I’m sure you can but I really don't have them time right now, and I need to get back to my conrads” the man pause for a second before continuing “And I’m sure you would love to starve to death, or have your fate determined to the blood god now would you?”_

_  
Tommy froze, he had heard of the blood god before and he wasn't so easy on the people that lived in the sand._

_  
“I just turned 15 yesterday” he said a pointed look on his face_

_The man looked at him with a almost unreadable look on his face, then turned around and started walking again_

_Tommy looked at him, surprise, and rage filled his chest. Why would this b*tch wanna know who he was then walk away?_

_“Well,” the man looked over his shoulder “aren’t you coming gremlin child”_

_Tommy stood there even more rage filled his stomach, as he then proceeded to scaper after the man, the dirt scraping under his feet, grateful tears prickling the side of his eyes_

_He later learned the man’s name was Wilbur Mincraft._

* * *

_Thomas, or as he prefers Tommy Soot was 15 ½ when Wilbur Mincraft became Wilbur Soot._

_“You want to take my what?” He looked at Wilbur confused, they were ahead of some of the_

_group, Wilbur had said that he wanted them to go to the great dream smp to start a new life_

_away from their little world, some stayed but most came with them._

_“I want to take your last name!” Wilbur said cheerfully “I’d say Wilbur Soot sounds much better_ than _Wilbur Mincraft don’t you think?”_

 _Tommy was hesitant, but thinking about how Wilbur, his idol, his friend, h̶is̶b̶o̶th̶e̶r̶ his mentor, wanted_ _to take HIS last name he couldn’t help but let the doubt slip his mind._

 _He smiled and looked over “I don’t see why not, though you're gonna be a total loser for wanting_ _t_ _to have_ _relation to me.”_

 _Wilbur just let out a low chuck fondness in his eyes, turning around to face the group “I’M WILBUR_ _SOOT NOW BOIS!”_

 _Everyone laughed and Tommy couldn’t help but let the tears well up but never fall, and if Wilbur_ _l_ _looked to ask him what was wrong, he’d say that he was fine and Wilbur was hallucinating._

_Cause for the first time in a while, Tommy wasn’t lying when he said those words._

* * *

_Thomas, or as he prefers Tommy Soot had just turned 16 when he had the privilege of being_ _r_ _reunited_ _with his best friend again_.

_Tommy stood there, though many things where welling is his chest shock was by far the largest._

_Their standing but 3 feet away was his best friend, the person that kept him from losing himself_ _t_ to the _greed and selfishness of the curse, the person that kept him alive for so long, though his dear friend probably was unaware of that._

 _“Tommy?” Tubbo’s voice was barley heard, due to the breathless whisper and his voice_ _being muffled by his hand._

_Tommy almost let the tears fall “Hey Big T”_

_Tubbo quickly closed the distance between the two tackling the younger in a bone crushing hug as_ _the both fell to the ground._

_He felt Tubbo’s tears dampen his shirt._

_He felt his friends look at him._

_He could practically feel the radiant fondness in the air between the new, and old friends._

_And damnit he almost cried._

_But he can’t, cause if he did that would be showing weakness, and the curse feeds off of the weak_ _._

_He can’t afford to lose his mind, not yet._

* * *

_Thomas, or as he prefers Tommy Soot was 16 when he met Philza Minecraft._

_Tubbo was enthusiastic to introduce him to someone._

_And Tommy being the amazing and supportive friend that he was with him,despite the dread in his_ _gut._

 _“Phil!” Tubbo stretched, pulling Tommy with him as they ran towards a man in a bucket looking hat_ _._

_The man smiles and looks at him, Phil? Where had he heard that before?_

_“Hello Tubbo, who's your friend?” the man named Phil asked, smiling at him._

_“Phil this is my best friend Tommy Soot,” Tbbo pause to catch his breath a bit before continuing,_ _“Tommy, this is Philza Minecraft”_

_Tommy froze dead in his tracks, Minecraft?_

_Then realization came over Tommy, this was h̶is̶b̶r̶o̶th̶e̶r̶'s̶friend’s neglectful father._

_This was the man that had broken the amazing, loving Wilbur’s heart so many times, but don't tell him that Tommy said that._

_“Phil?” he heard a familiar voice behind him, the man in the bucket hat froze eyes widening._

_“Wil?” the man responded, the same tears filling his eyes like it did with Tubbo, except different._

_These were filled with guilt as the father and son embraced each other._

_Tubbo looked confused._

_Philza raient relieved energy to see his son safe stung Tommy's skin as the guilt prickled it at the same time_

_And Wilbur, though you would barely catch it, his own eyes filled with tears of hope._

_And this time, Tommy almost cried for Wilbur, because he could almost guess the pain that false_ _hope would bring._

* * *

_Thomas, or as he prefers Tommy Soot was 16 when he watched his ̶b̶r̶o̶th̶e̶r̶friend slowly go_

_insane._

_It was after Schlatt exiled them and they started to build Pogtopia, Tommy could see how he became_ _more… obsessive_

 _And Tommy knew he was being pushed around, he was abused most of his childhood but this was_ _Wilbur he wouldn't hurt him right?_

_“Tommy” Wilburs hushed voice filled the silent air_

_“Yeah?” he respond._

_“You think this would make Phil proud?” the older asked desperation in his voice._

_Tommy heart sank even more than it already had._

_“I don’t know Wil” he respond truthfully_

_“He will, he has to he-” as Wilbur went aff muttering to himself again, Tommy looked around at the_ _buttons that scattered the walls, and said a silent plead to the forces above._

_Tommy almost let out a hope filled cry to them as he begged them to not let Wilbur do what Tommy thought he was going to do._

* * *

_Tommy Soot was 16 ½ when he cried for the first time._

_It was doomsday, the Withers that Techoblade had spawn that took one of the lifes of his dear_ friend _Tubbo had settled down, the TNT exploded through the air, but sitting their in a cave almost in front of him was ~~his brother.~~_

~~_His brother wasn’t dead_ ~~

~~_His brother wasn’t dead_ ~~

**_His brother wasn’t dead_ **

_Right?_

_Tommy stubbled to the entrance and looked at Phil in horror as he watched his brother continue to_ _bleed despite him already had died._

 _“He’s not dead Phil, is he??” he looked from the place where he hadn’t relized he sunk to, his voice_ _slightly cracking._

_Phil looked away_

_“No, no, NO!” Tommy yelled the tears freely falling. “You said you would stay, you lied, why does_ _everyone lie?”_

 _As Tommys cries filled the ruins of L’manburg, even as Fundy and Tubbo dragged him away from_ _the corpse of the one who he saw as a brother._

_The mark that bore his curse never stung so much as it did that day._

* * *

Tommy sat on his bench looking out into the sunset, a coat that held the symbol of the country that had fallen one to many times, the hat of a long lost brother,

He couldn’t help but hope it would be okay this time, he survived the hell dream put him through, he got his disks back, Tubbo was alive, HE was alive. He couldn't help but think to the day where his brothers voice filled the air after the defeated Dream.

He wants him back, he wants his big brother back.

But he should respect Wilbur's wish to stay dead, it was only fair as his brother would do the same for him.

And all he could do was hope this time that it would be okay.

But that was just a silly wish, for that was all hope was.

Because people like Tommy didn't have the privilege of a normal life.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I hope you enjoyed the story, if you have any questions feel free to ask!


End file.
